Photo Credit: Office of Missouri Governor, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
I can already hear the excuses. They’re like little birds chirping outside my window: never enough to really grab your attention, but occasionally enough for me to turn my head for a second before I return to mindlessly scrolling through Netflix. Of course, Kansas City Chiefs fans are notorious for their excuses. It’s well-documented that they complain about the refs more than any other fanbase in the NFL. In advance of their inevitable embarrassment on Sunday, I’ve compiled a few excuses for our justification-needy friends. This way, they won’t have to work so hard to come up with some original ones.
Patrick Mahomes isn’t 100% - If he’s hurt that badly, then don’t play him.
The NFL is rigged - Thank you, sports gambling.
The refs - Duh.
The Bengals play dirty on defense - Is anyone else shocked to find this narrative is gaining steam?
The Bengals uniforms are too white - Bills fans actually complained about this.
They were terrified of being roasted by Eli Apple on Twitter - He already went scorched Earth on the Stefon Diggs, and he’s already gave the Chiefs the business last year
The Bengals cheated by putting their best lineman as their backups - The Bengals O-line was supposed to be bad! What the heck?!
The Chiefs don’t want to suck bad enough to get as good as the Bengals - This was Buffalo Bills general manager Brandon Beane’s excuse. But can you really complain that the Bengals have finally made good roster decisions?
Andy Reid’s clock management skills are still at a first-grade level - Still improved from his Philly days, though.
To paraphrase Mark Twain: the greatest fighter in the world doesn’t fear the second-greatest fighter, he fears the ignorant fighter - Spoken like a true Chiefs fan.
This should be enough to get them started. Hopefully, Chiefs fans won’t have to struggle with their emotions and be tasked with slaving away in defense of why the Chiefs offense was huddling up after every play down fourteen with 6:29 left to play. Or why Mahomes threw behind the line of scrimmage in the red zone as time expired in the first half. Too soon?