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James Harden Continues to be a Greasy Cheeseburger


Photo Credit: FanDuel, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons


Congratulations James, you’ve outdone yourself. You wanted to make a statement, and as they say, “mission accomplished.” Now, the entire world knows what a backstabbing, self-serving, genuine piece of human trash you really are.


It’s bad enough that you called Daryl Morey a “liar." This is the one guy who saw your potential. But now, you choose to interject this slander while gallivanting around China while promoting some Adidas bullshit is truly spectacular. James is certainly someone who seems to know his audience.


Now, to be fair to James, he has a (somewhat) legitimate gripe. Supposedly, when Harden declined a more lucrative player option and signed a two-year contract with the Philadelphia 76ers, he did so under the pretense that Morey and the Sixers would make it up to him on the back end. There was so much speculation about this handshake agreement that the NBA even opened up an investigation to see if any tampering had occurred, but nothing was ever substantiated.


Now, after watching Harden wet himself in the playoffs for two consecutive years, Morey is apparently unwilling to bestow upon Harden the gargantuan sum he believes he’s entitled to – go figure!


Even worse, Morey isn’t trading Harden to the Clippers like he wants! What a meanie. What a jerkface. But like a true adult, Morey isn’t going to be swayed by pre-teen insults, and he won’t be swayed by Harden’s crap either.


That’s because, unfortunately for Harden, Morey has experience dealing with a surly, immature, underperforming player – Ben Simmons. And best of all, Morey used Simmons to acquire Harden! The irony is palpable.


After Simmons vaporized his NBA career in front of a playoff audience two years ago, Simmons tried to play hardball by demanding a trade from Philly. Those Philly fans were so rude, expecting you to play good basketball or something. How unreasonable.


Stonewall Morey was unmoved. I imagine their interaction went something like this: Simmons walks into Morey’s office, looks him dead in the eye and says, “Big D, I want to be traded.” Morey looks at him for a second, and then says, “You want a trade? You…want a trade? Hold on one second…” and then Morey proceeded to laugh for eight uninterrupted minutes before gathering himself and telling Simmons to get the hell out of his office.


Of course, Simmons eventually did get traded to the Nets, but that was only after Harden was made available (after Harden demanded another trade, go figure). If Morey isn’t getting fair value for an asset, Morey ain’t trading nobody. You can stay home Simmons. You too Harden.


The really incredible part about all of this, though, is how much Morey has stuck his neck out for Harden over the last ten to fifteen years, and how Harden is casually destroying the most lucrative and valuable relationships he’s ever had in the NBA. Not only did Morey trade for Harden after he demanded a trade from the Nets, but Morey was also the guy who basically gave Harden his Hall of Fame career in the first place!


Back in 2012, Harden was just a sixth man who’d vanished before our eyes in the NBA Finals as his Oklahoma City Thunder were blasted in five games by the Miami Heat. Guess who saw potential in the middle of that ghastly performance? Morey! Guess who made the gutsy call to trade for him? Morey! Guess who gave Harden the keys to the Houston Rockets franchise and who empowered him to become the most obnoxious, ball hogging, unwatchable player in NBA history? Morey!


This arrangement worked to near perfection. Morey looked like a genius for seeing that Harden could be more than a sixth man, and Harden got to hold on to the ball for 46 minutes a game while still choking in the playoffs. It’s an (almost) win-win!


Once again, you have to give credit where credit is due. Of all the places in the world to drop a bomb like calling Morey a “liar” and proclaiming that you “will never be a part of an organization that he’s a part of," China is probably the safest, given the Chinese Communist Party’s fury over Morey’s tweets four years ago that dared to support the protesters for democracy in Hong Kong. Let it never be said that James Harden is unintelligent – just a fatass.

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