Welcome, members of the 2022 CincyItIsUs Fantasy Football League! Please feel free to leave a comment or troll your opponents on this forum. I will be doing write-ups every Tuesday recapping the action over the weekend. Thank you all, and good luck!
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2022 CincyItIsUs Fantasy Football League
2022 CincyItIsUs Fantasy Football League
And that's a wrap!!
After fourteen, hard-fought regular season games, a wild-card round, a championship series, and a finale to end all finales, our 2022 Fantasy Football season has come to a close. Unfortunately, the season ended on quite a sad note, as Bills safety Damar Hamlin went into cardiac arrest in Cincinnati on Monday Night. The much-anticipated matchup between the Bills and the Bengals was postponed, although I think we can all agree that was for the best.
As such, Rob Battista, manager of the Bussy Boiz, has agreed wrap up the season with Seth Hood, manager of Team Hood, as the winner this year - despite the fact that the Bussy Boiz do still have one player in play (Dawson Knox of the Bills). I want to take this moment to thank Rob for being so gracious here: I know it's unlikely that Knox would have been the difference-maker, but I know you're a Bills fan and it would have been pretty nice to win 1st prize, too. I can't imagine Monday night was very fun for you. I really appreciate you being such a good sport about all this.
On the other hand, congratulations to Seth for winning the Championship this year! Seth, you've been in this league for years now. You're one of our longest tenured members. It's awesome that you finally broke through - and you've been close before! Don't spend all that money in one place (or do, because sports gambling is legal in Ohio now and you can just put in all on the Bengals to win the Super Bowl).
It's been a really fun year. I can't wait to do it again next year. Before I sign off for at least the next eight months or so, I just want to pose a few questions, so let me know in the comments your thoughts:
As Sully put forth earlier this year, how do we feel about getting rid of divisions?
Is there any interest in doing an auction draft or a league with individual defensive players?
Does anyone have any suggestions on other rule changes, scoring, league format, etc.?
Let me know if there's anything else on your mind as well! I'd love to hear more about how I can improve the league.
I created a poll below to gauge everyone's opinions, so please vote!
So, that's it. That's all I've got for you guys. It's been real. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and enjoy 2023!
Should we get rid of divisions?
It's finally here...Championship Week.
After a wacky and winding season, it all comes down to two - Team Hood and Bussy Boiz. It seems strange, but in a lot of ways, this is the matchup we always really wanted.
Look at these two rosters: Justin Herbert & Jalen Hurts; Saquon Barkley, Nick Chubb & Dalvin Cook; A.J. Brown, CeeDee Lamb & Garrett Wilson. These aren't the two highest scoring teams in the league, but they might have been the most consistent week to week. Most importantly though, they both peaked at the right time.
For Team Hood, it was riding their two horses in Barkley and Chubb all the way to the Finals. Those two are currently #5 and #6 among all running backs in fantasy this year, undoubtably the best duo in the league. And now, with Herbert and the Los Angeles Chargers looking their best at the end of the year, Team Hood has an explosive squad with a very high floor.
The Bussy Boiz, meanwhile, looked like one of the betting favorites heading into the playoffs. They've been a consistently strong squad since the beginning, putting up a few monster performances like a 157.5-spot in Round One and three 120+ performance during the regular season. With Hurts injured, the Boiz had to rely on Lamb and a huge day from the Chargers defense to move on, but don't count them out this week, especially if Hurts can play.
The best part of this matchup? These two played each other - and they TIED!
It's the grudge match to end all grudge matches. Nobody can claim to be the superior team until the season-ending whistle. This one is for all the marbles, plus the playing cards, checkers and dice.
Congratulations to both Team Hood and the Bussy Boiz! I'm especially happy because, if memory serves, this the first Championship appearance for both of you! It's always nice to see some new faces in the spotlight.
Now for a brief recap of the past week:
Team Hood crumpled up and tossed Kyler Murray's Study Guide in the trash where they belong (108.0 - 83.0)
The Bussy Boiz bombed Ja'Marrio Party and "Porn-Stache" Minshew (114.5 - 70.0)
Team Larison redeemed themselves against the Team Who I Respect for Not Changing Their Name at This Point (125.5 - 73.0)
Uncle Cooper laid a stinky one all over the Cleveland Steamers (100.0 - 85.0)
The Spiders Under My Bed got drunk and smashed Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur (104.0 - 70.5)
Team Idk remembered to kick Uncle Waldo Rodgers ass (100.0 - 75.0)
Congratulations once again to our Championship representatives. You guys deserve it and good luck!
It's hard to believe that Week 15 of the NFL season is already here. It feels like our draft was just a couple days ago. Instead, we've already seen two teams eliminated from the playoffs. There's only two weeks left to go in our season, y'all. That's crazy.
I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I really do appreciate all of you being a part of this league. I look forward to this every year and I have a blast being your commissioner. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank you all for being so supportive of this website. This website is a dream of mine, and I'm so grateful to be able to combine two of my favorite things in the world: writing about sports stuff and competing with you guys in this dumb fantasy football league. I hope you all enjoyed these weekly write-ups. It's been a lot of fun and it's something I'd be happy to continue to do in the future.
Anyway, I know you're all just dyyyyyyying to get into the results, so I won't keep you anymore!
Up first, in the "Real Playoffs," we have Team Hood narrowly defeating Team Larison in the MyTeamNameIsMyLastName Bowl. What great Round One matchup! It's remarkable that Team Hood was able to withstand an 8.0-point game from his star QB Justin Herbert. That RB-combo of Saquon Barkley and Nick Chubb looks terrifying as the playoffs progress.
We now bid adieu to Team Larison, who came out of the gates like gangbusters but finished like wet toilet paper. At least you put up a hell of a fight in Round One! Don't think too hard about that Travis Etienne Jr. fumble... (101.5 - 100.0)
In the KirkCousinsvs.JalenHurts Bowl, we had a barnburner that lived up to its name. The Bussy Boiz went on to dominate this one behind a 34-point game from Hurts, but let's give some love to The TeamWhoIRespectForNotChangingYourNameAtThisPoint. You rode with Kirkey Cousins all year, and it nearly paid off. That's like wagering your house that the Vikings would come back from down 33 to the Colts this Saturday (please tell me you did).
Meanwhile, the Boiz continue to look like a dangerous contender, though the loss of Hurts for at least one week has to be incredibly concerning. Still, with the reliable David (wait, Derek) Carr as a backup, there's a good chance their roster depth can carry them to the Championship game. (157.5 - 103.0)
Kyler Murray's Study Guide and Ja'Marrio Party both rested on their bye weeks - though I should point out that the Study Guides (120.5) and Ja'Marrio (109.0) put up the second and third highest scores among playoff teams this week. They both look strong heading into the Semi-Finals.
Now for a rapid-fire Consolation Ladder recap:
The Cleveland Steamers took a huge one alllllll over Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur (105.0 - 74.5)
Uncle Cooper pulled out a switch and beat the hell out of Team Idk (140.0 - 83.0)
The Spiders Under My Bed spooked Uncle Waldo (93.0 - 84.5)
Good luck to everyone next week!!
Here we go. It's playoff time. Time to tighten those jock straps.
What a season it's been. I don't know about you guys, but this has felt like the most competitive season we've ever had. Don't get me wrong, we had some rough seasons (apologies to the Spiders and Uncle Waldo) - but for the most part, it never felt like any opponent on any given week was a cakewalk.
So, once again, a huge thank you to everyone for participating in the league this year, and I hope you all are interested in returning next year!
Before I break down the playoff brackets, let's take a quick look at the previous weekend's results...
To lead us off, we had the Cleveland Steamers putting a whopping on poor Uncle Waldo. Looks like betting on Tyreek Hill and Justin Jefferson at WR finally paid off - just 13 weeks late. As for Waldo, it was a nice attempt, but even Tony Pollard couldn't save this doomed squad. (118.0 - 58.5)
Next, we have Team Idk spoiling Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur's season with the upset. If only Melon Ball had played Chubba Hubbard! Why God, why? The pain! Raheem Mostert - you better pray Melon Ball isn't in Miami any time soon. (93.5 - 84.5)
In a matchup of two of the top teams in the league, we saw Ja'Marrio Party down the Bussy Boiz. It was an off day for the Boiz, who saw Rhamondre Stephenson run for just eight yards and had two players with 0.0s in his lineup. Ja'Marrio won't compain, though, given the win allowed him to lock up the #2 seed and that oh-so-sweet bye week. (81.0 - 68.5)
Team Larison fought off the Spiders Under My Bed to finally clinch their playoff appearance. The Spiders had a bumpy season, but they were always a team you needed to keep an eye out for - even if you could squish them pretty easily. As for Team Larison, that terrific start feels like an eternity ago, and he's going to need Austin Ekeler and James Connor to keep turning in performances like these if they're going to move forward in the playoffs. (110.0 - 83.0)
In a near spoiler matchup, Uncle Cooper upset The Team Whose Name Looks Pretty Inaccurate Right About Now. It's pretty wild that a team with Patrick Mahomes, the San Francisco 49ers defense, and an absolutely red-hot Christian McCaffrey finished two games under .500, but here we are. Three touchdowns from Jerry Jeudy...where the f--- did that come from? (118.0 - 106.5)
Last, we have Team Hood dispatching Kyler Murray's Study Guide behind a vintage Justin Herbert game and excellent performances up and down the board. The Study Guides, because of Kyler Murray's injury on literally the first drive of the game, are now actively working to develop a new team name. Submissions are welcome. The betting favorite is Cash or Pa-Check-O. (89.0 - 79.0)
Okay, so now that we've covered Week 14's scores, let's dig into the playoffs.
The top seeds of the Eastern Conference (Kyler Murray's Study Guide) and the Western Conference (Ja'Marrio Party) have secured first-round byes and will automatically adcance to the semifinals.
Our #3 seed (Bussy Boiz) will be taking on the #6 seed (The Team Whose Name Is Looking Pretty Inaccurate Right About Now) in the KirkCousinsvs.JalenHurts Bowl
Our #4 seed (Team Hood) will be taking on the #5 seed (Team Larison) in the OurTeamNameIsOurLastName Bowl.
There will also be a Consolation Ladder for those that did not make the playoffs, and those that fail to advance in the playoffs will be entered into the Winner's Consolation Bracket.
Good luck to everyone in the playoffs, and better luck next year to those that aren't. It's been an awesome year, so let's finish strong!!!
It's Week 14, y'all. The very last week before the playoffs. It's been an awesome season full of twists and turns, blowouts and close calls. We've seen teams rise and fall in the standings. We've seen winning streaks, losing streaks, and everything in between - even the incomprehensible, like the Cleveland Steamers taking every team's best shot week after week, Team Larison's improbable 5 - 0 start, and Kyler Murray's Study Guide coming back from 0 - 2 to heading into the final week with the best record in the league. It's been a blast to be your commissioner, and I can't thank you all enough for being a part of the league this year.
With that said, let's get into the results from Week 13...
Up first, we had the Clash of the Titans between Kyler Murray's Study Guide and Ja'Marrio Party. Unfortunately, it wasn't the barnburner we were promised. With QB Lamar Jackson exiting the Ravens tilt with the Broncos, Ja'Marrio Party was left with a massive, gaping hole at their most important position. Still, the Study Guides made things interesting with truly mediocre performances from nearly every position outside of kicker. Not how you want to be playing in December... (74.5 - 61.5)
Next, we have the Team Whose Name Is Looking Pretty Inaccurate Right About Now saving their season in an explosive matchup with Uncle Waldo Rodgers. This was the barnburner we were promised. With huge performances from WRs Amon-Ra St. Brown and Tyler Lockett and the Dallas Cowboys defense, the TWNILPIRAN was able to stave off Waldo, who finally got that vintage, Davante Adams 33-point game he's been waiting all year for. It's too little, too late for Waldo, but for TWNILPIRAN, it all comes down to a reunion with a different uncle in Week 14 - Uncle Cooper. (150.5 - 129.0)
Speaking of Uncle Cooper, even with the playoffs out of reach Coop still showed up to put the Spiders Under My Bed back in their place. It's fitting that the first game that the Spiders get WR Ja'Marr Chase back from injury, their second-best player, WR Jaylen Waddle, goes down Zawith his own injury. Between losing Chase, Waddle, Kenneth Walker III, Dak Prescott, Alvin Kamara, and Zach Ertz for periods of time this season, it's really no surprise that the Spiders are floundering with just four wins heading into the final week. (91.5 - 65.0)
In one of the most impactful results of the weekend, Team Hood downed Team Larison in the Battle of the Last Names. The win was critical for two reasons: the first, it locked up Team Hood's playoff spot; the second, it opened the door for Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur, who sits just a game behind Team Larison. It might be a long shot, especially with Team Larison facing the cupcake-Spiders, but as Lloyd Christmas would say, "So you're telling me there's a chance!" (91.5 - 78.0)
Next, we have the Bussy Boiz defeating Team Idk in a seriously lopsided affair. 34 points from Jalen Hurts never...hurts (sorry). I'll eat whatever he's (Dalvin) Cook-ing (sorry, again). Smells so good, it must be (CeeDee) Lamb (okay, I'm finished). Meanwhile, it was another tough game for Team Idk as their once-promising season fades with every Buffalo Bills handoff to Devin Singletary instead of letting Josh Allen throw 600 times a game. At least they won't have to see the Bussy Boiz any (DJ) Moore! (199.5 - 64.5)
And last, but not least, Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur fought off the Anti-Postseason Spirits for one more week, defeating the Cleveland Steamers and banishing them to the Consolation Brackett. It's been a tough season for the Steamers, who not only had to deal with the adversity of not being able to call their team the Steamers (officially), but also had to absorb a legendary beating nearly every week. It's a minor miracle the Steamers even have five wins at this point, given their opponents average nearly 112 points per game. For Melon Ball, though, this win gives them life - and with a winnable matchup with Team Idk on the horizon, there's a decent chance this isn't the last time we'll get to see them drunk and on the playoff-dancefloor. (127.0 - 122.0)
Congratulations to all the Week 13 winners, and an extra congratulations to those who have already secured their playoff berths (Kyler Murray's Study Guide, Bussy Boiz, Ja'Marrio Party, Team Hood, and the Bengals Are Most Definitely Making the Playoffs). Good luck to everyone next week and keep a close eye on Team Larison v. Spider and Melon Ball v. Team Idk. Once again, thank you all so much for being a part of the league this year! This might have been our best season yet!
There's two weeks remaining in the CincyItIsUs Fantasy League until playoff time! It's getting closer and closer to crunch time - and yet, only one team is mathematically eliminated (sorry again, Spiders). The trade deadline is tomorrow, the waiver-wire is barren...it's time to nut-up or shut-up.
With that said, let's get into the results...
First, we have Team Hood defeating Uncle Cooper in a lopsided affair. RB Nick Chubb got back to his dominant ways, and fellow RB Saquon Barkley's excellent season continued as well. With two of the top backs in all of fantasy football, Team Hood is as dangerous as it gets come playoff time. Even with the loss, though, Uncle Cooper still remains a long shot for the playoffs. Their chances might be more remote than Ohio State making the College Football Playoff (too soon?), but hey - there's still chance. (108.5 - 82.5)
Next, we have the Spiders Under My Bed playing spoiler to Uncle Waldo as the Spiders crushed Waldo's playoff dreams into a miniscule, little ball. That's right: Waldo is still alive, everyone. Don't pour dirt on them yet. Still though, we all know this is the time of year that your team needs to be rounding into form, and getting blown out by the only team eliminated from contention doesn't inspire much confidence, does it? Maybe next time try to phone Mike McDonald and ask him to keep Tua in the game just a tad longer... (103.0 - 71.5)
Kyler Murray's Study Guide continued to roll through the second half of the season, picking up their fifth victory in a row and their ninth in the last ten matchups. Move over, Bussy Boiz - there's officially a new top dog in town. On the other hand, Team IDK fell to 5 - 7 and their postseason dreams hang on by the slimmest of margins. Who would have thought that Mike White would not only crush Zach Wilson's NFL hopes into oblivion, but it would indirectly crush Team IDK when the Jets chose to de-activate RB James Robinson for an undrafted rookie? You just can't make this shit up... (102.0 - 97.0)
In one of the highest scoring affairs of the season, The Team that Shall Not Be Named edged out Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur. It was a fireworks show, with RB Josh Jacobs pouring in 44 points and a ridiculous eleven players scoring in the double digits. With the win, The Team that Shall Not Be Named put themselves in prime position for a playoff spot, while the defeat capsized Melon Ball's chances. Still, though, with QB Joe Burrow on absolute fire right now and a roster full of contributors, no one wants to face this team right now. (149.5 - 123.5)
The upset of the week goes to the Cleveland Steamers, who knocked off the Bussy Boiz behind strong games from WR Justin Jefferson and QB Tom Brady. The win kept the Steamers alive for the time being, while the defeat was a particularly tough one for the Boiz, as they lost out on the top seed and the subsequent first-round bye. Just out of curiosity, how does Jalen Hurts run for nearly a buck fifty in the first half on Sunday night, yet end up with only 29.0 points? Am I missing something? Was he abducted by aliens at some point in the third quarter? That should have been a forty-pointer, no question. (102.5 - 85.0)
Lastly, we have Ja'Marrio Party downing Team Larison to maintain their stranglehold on the Western Division. I bet it feels pretty good to have Jonathan Taylor looking like himself down the stretch, huh? When the Indianapolis Colts hired Jeff Saturday, it wasn't the most popular move in NFL history, but we all know at least one person who's loving it. While the loss certainly wasn't what Team Larison had in mind, they still control their own destiny as they hold onto the final spot in the Eastern Division. That two-game lead might seem secure, but with matchups coming up with Team Hood and the always-frisky Spiders, don't count those chickens just yet... (110.0 - 98.0)
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving - and for those Bearcats and Buckeyes fans among us, my sincere condolences (as a fan of both, I can say confidently that this weekend sucked). Trade deadline is tomorrow, playoffs are in two weeks...what a time to be alive. Congratulations to all the winners, and good luck next week everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
It's been another exciting year of Fantasy Football and I can't thank you all enough for being a part of the league! This past week was full of surprising results, dramatic finished, and season-saving wins. As it stands, only one team has been eliminated from playoff contention (sorry, Spiders).
The stakes are high, the waiver-wire is empty, everything is on the line...
Let's get into the past week's scores:
Up first, we have Team Larison beating down Team IDK behind another strong performance from QB Justin Fields, who is turning into the late-round fantasy-steal of the year before our very eyes. It was a massive win for Team Larison, who moves to 7 - 4, further distancing themselves from their mid-season lull. For Team IDK, however, it's a huge disappointment, as they fall below .500 for the first time all season. And with games coming up against the red-hot Study Guides and overall leader Bussy Boiz in the next two weeks, the situation is critical. (117.0 - 65.0)
In one of the more surprising results of the weekend, Uncle Cooper dispatched Ja'Marrio Party to keep their slim playoff hopes alive. It's been an up-and-down season for Coop. They started horrifically with a 0 - 5 record, and everyone left them for dead. Of course, now they've won four of six and are rounding into form with Pat Mahomes, Christian McCaffrey and George Kittle looking like the superstars they are. It might be too little, too late, but you can't help but be impressed by this late run. For Ja'Marrio, it's a shame to waste such a fine Travis Kelce performance, but they held onto their top position in the Western Conference and still look dangerous come playoff time. (121.5 - 101.5)
Am I seeing things? Uncle Waldo Rodgers breaks the 150-point barrier? I thought those mushrooms from that sketchy restaurant seemed a little peculiar...
All jokes aside, what a game from Waldo. For the first time all year, Waldo had everything clicking. Aaron Rodgers had a nice game, Davante Adams was dynamite, and Tony Pollard continued to light the league on fire. With that win, Waldo remains a dark-horse contender. As for Team Hood, this one will sting, but they have a massive opportunity to recapture some of that early-season momentum with a win over Uncle Cooper next week. (151.0 - 88.0)
Next, we have Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur defeating the Spiders Under My Bed, who looked spry in recent weeks, but an untimely injury to WR Ja'Marr Chase all but kneecapped them. The time of their inevitable squishing has come. It's sayonara for the Spiders - gone, but not forgotten. For Mr. Boston, though, this was a very important win. With QB Joe Burrow looking like an MVP-candidate and a shockingly deep rotation of skill players, Mr. Boston could be a frightening opponent in the playoffs. (125.0 - 87.5)
The other eye-opening result of the weekend was The Team That Shall Not Be Named winning a stunner over the top seeded Bussy Boiz. It looked like the Boiz had wrapped up things early after QB Kirk Cousins's stinker versus the Dallas Cowboys torpedoed You-Know-Who's chances. But depth won the day, and waiver-wire additions like RB Latavius Murray and WR Darius Slayton came up huge. It stings to lose a close one like that, but hey, at least the Bills won, right Bussy Boiz? (107.0 - 101.0)
Lastly, we have Kyler Murray's Study Guide in a landslide over the Cleveland Steamers. It's been a remarkable turnaround for the Study Guides, as they've rebounded from a 0 - 2 start to win eight of their last nine. It's been a total team effort, from RB Derrick Henry's consistent production to WR Tee Higgins stepping up for the Cincinnati Bengals to the unreal addition of the New England Patriots defense on waivers. On the other side, the Steamers loss puts their postseason hopes on life support. It was never going to be easy to win this game, especially with Tyreek Hill, Jeff Wilson, Mike Evans and Tom Brady all on a bye, but a rough outing from WR Justin Jefferson was too much to overcome. It's a tall task for the Steamers to defeat the Bussy Boiz this week, but they'll have to in order to stay alive this season. (109.0 - 65.5)
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I, for one, am thankful for all of you who've made this such a fun fantasy season. This has been one of the most entertaining seasons I've been a part of, and I hope you all have enjoyed yourselves as well. Please keep in mind that the Trade Deadline is on November 30, so you still have a little time to make some last-minute roster adjustments. Good luck, everyone!
After the Washington Commandos defeated the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday night, we are officially halfway through the NFL season! With four regular season games to go in the League, there's still plenty of time for those not in the playoff picture to make moves up the leaderboard - even you, Waldo. At this point, no one is mathematically eliminated!
At the same time, Week 9 saw a lot of the top dogs separate from the pack. We'll see if it keeps up, but boy, the fight for the final playoff spot in the Western Conference is going to be a wild one.
With that said, let's get into the results...
Up first, we have Uncle Cooper, who had a performance for the ages as he staved off execution against Team Idk. Patrick Mahomes led the way with a 30-burger, but Christian Kirk and Minnesota's defense teamed to make up for the goose-egg from Jerry Jeudy. Remember how everyone and their uncle thought Jeudy was going to break out with Russell Wilson? That just gets funnier every day. (109.0 - 65.5)
It was a high-scoring affair in the matchup between Ja'Marrio Party and Uncle Waldo Rodgers, but ultimately, this just isn't Waldo's year, I'm afraid. It was a back-and-forth affair that went all the way to the Monday-Night-wire, but Philadelphia's defense couldn't keep the Commandos at bay enough for Waldo to sneak this one out. I do have to say, though, that I really enjoyed seeing Ja'Marrio Party putting #2 pick Jonathan Taylor as a flex play - what a weird season it's been. (132.0 - 125.5)
Team Hood continued to ride Saquon Barkley and Nick Chubb, while also getting a surprising performance out of waiver-wire tight end Juwan Johnson, who caught the Saint's only touchdown against the Steelers. Unfortunately for Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur, he had the Taysom Hill, who's supposed to be the top tight end in New Orleans (right?), yet he saw the ball exactly zero times. The NFL makes a lot of sense. (87.5 - 65.0)
The Bussy Boiz continued to roll this season, as they improved to 8-1-1 behind a monster performance from CeeDee Lamb. The Spiders Under My Bed saw their streak of four consecutive 100+ point games come to an ignominious end, as they barely managed to pass the 70-point mark. Somehow, playing Las Vegas's defense against Indianapolis turned out not to be the worst play of the day - that honor goes to Alvin Kamara, who managed just 4.5 points on Sunday. Ouch. Still, the Spiders loss can't even compare to what the Buffalo Bills went through on Sunday, right Bussy Boiz?? (96.0 - 71.0)
It looked bad early, but eventually Allen Lazard broke though (at the expense of Dallas's defense) to give Kyler Murray's Study Guide their seventh win in the last eight weeks. Of course, Cooper Kupp going down certainly didn't help the Team That Shall Not Be Named. With Kupp going to Injured Reserve, he will miss at least the next four games, which means he won't be available until the fantasy playoffs...if the Team That Shall Not Be Named makes it. (86.5 - 78.5)
Lastly, we have the Cleveland Steamers, who managed to absorb a 0-pointer from Eno Benjamin to down Team Larison. That Justin Jefferson guy is pretty good, huh? (Still not as good as Ja'Marr Chase, though). Team Larison capitalized on the Justin Fields Supernova Experience, who poured on 38 points, but ultimately fell short thanks to an uncharacteristically rough game from Austin Ekeler. Anyone else remember when Team Larison was 4 - 0??? I do. (109.5 - 102.5)
Congratulations to all the winners, and good luck next week everyone!
Okay, so first things first: I'm sorry.
I let you all down. I forgot to put up the Week 8 Fantasy Write-Up. I can hear you all chanting, "Down with the Commissioner!" as I type this.
And you know what? You're right.
I failed you. But hear this: never again.
Now, let's get down to business.
First up, we had the Cleveland Steamers dropping Uncle Cooper. Give credit to Coop - he hung in there, despite having basically his entire team on a bye week. Even a 33.0-point game from Patrick Mahomes couldn't save them, and that was with the Steamers getting a grand total of 6.5 points from their running backs! When it rains it pours, I guess... (102.0 - 92.0)
Next, we have Kyler Murray's Study Guide, who squeaked out a victory over the Spiders Under My Bed that went all the way down to the wire. It was all up to Alvin Kamara on Monday Night Football. He just needed 9.5 points. That's all! Nine-point-five. Didn't happen, and the Study Guides survived. 28.0-points from New England's defense always helps. (118.0 - 116.5)
Team Larison rebounded in a huge way after going on a brutal three-game skid. Fortunately, his skid managed to avoid putting too many marks on his underpants. Also fortunate: having the balls to start Justin Freaking Fields at QB and having it pay off with a 41.0-point game. The Team that Shall Not Be Named is now 5 - 4...oh wait, that's the Cincinnati Bengals, who look like a playoff team. The Team that Shall Not Be Named is 4 - 5, and not looking like a playoff team. My mistake. (125.0 - 91.5)
Up next, we have our very first tie of the season!!! Congratulations to Team Hood and the Bussy Boiz, although I have a feeling the Boiz can't be too happy about this one. With the way the Boiz sleepwalked though this weekend, though, a tie is about as good as you could hope for...especially when you barely get over ten points with D.J. Moore, Gabriel Davis, Dawson Knox and Kyle Pitts combined. (75.0 - 75.0)
Things were looking bleak for Ja'Marrio Party, especially after Aaron Jones left the Packers game early, but solid nights from JuJu Smith-Schuster, Travis Kelce and Lamar Jackson eventually tipped the scales in their favor. Poor Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur - it's been a wacky season, but at least Taysom Hill was a bright and consistent spot. But a goose-egg on Monday Night? Sheesh. (90.0 - 85.0)
Finally, we get to the mother of all Fantasy Football performances: Joe Mixon's incredible 52.0-burger that he dropped on that thing the Carolina Panthers call a defense. Subtract that, Team Idk loses by 39.5. If Mixon averages the 11.5-points per game he'd been getting up to Sunday, Team Idk loses by 28.0. Instead, Uncle Waldo Rodgers gets to see their season disintegrate. Isn't Fantasy Football just a blast, guys?? (125.0 - 112.5)
Thanks again, everyone, for being a part of the league this year. Doing these write-ups has been a blast for me and I love being the commissioner of this league. Congratulations to all the victors, my condolences to all the losers, and good luck next week!
Another week, another round of head-scratching results to parse though...
The Cleveland Steamers (not Streamers) continued their puzzling campaign, as they finished with one of the highest scores in the league, only to fall to Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur and Joey Brrrrrrrrrrr, who decided Sunday was a fine afternoon to flirt with the single-game passing record. And so, the Steamers' misery continues... (120.0 - 111.0)
Ja'Marrio Party capitalized on a sup-par effort from Kyler Murray's Study Guide to thwart their four-game winning streak. Good call on selecting Aaron Jones this year, Ja'Marrio - I'm not sure anyone else on the Packers is even worth rostering at this point. At least you have Jones to salvage the disaster Jon Taylor has been all year. (96.5 - 78.0)
The Team that Shall Not Be Named continued to roll as Uncle Waldo Rodgers falls deeper and deeper into depression, madness, and ultimately, an untimely fantasy-death. That what you get for keeping Tyler Boyd and his 25.0 points on the bench. (124.5 - 78.5)
Could it be...? Did they...? No, they couldn't have...
Yes. Yes, they did. The Spiders Under My Bed have officially won two games in a row. Sure, it came at the expense of the other worst team in the league, Uncle Cooper, but who cares? Still counts. (129.5 - 87.0)
On the flip side, our last remaining undefeated team, Team Larison, lost in back-to-back weeks despite another 30-burger from Austin Ekeler. When your entire receiving corps (Keenan Allen, Michael Gallup, Josh Reynolds) combines for 2.5 points, that's trouble. Behind Saquon Barkley and Nick Chubb, Team Hood took full advantage. Does Team Larison remind anyone else of the 2020 Pittsburgh Steelers team that started the year 11 - 0, only to finish 12 - 4 and get bounced by the Cleveland Browns in the Wild Card Round? (91.0 - 87.0)
Ooof, Team IDK, get a clue. I count three guys on a bye-week in your starting lineup. I know Bussy Boiz are a decent team, but tanking will not be tolerated in the 2022 Cincy It Us Fantasy League (of course, if you want to leave Josh Allen on the bench during your matchup with the Study Guides, I promise not to say anything!). Kudos to the Boiz, though, on a much deserved (read: not deserved) victory.
Congratulations to all of our Week 7 winners. It's getting down to crunch time now. The Trade Deadline is November 30. The final week of the regular season is less than two months away. Fall is in here and the clock is ticking...
It finally happened. Remarkable, outstanding, inspiring, peerless...these are all adjectives that I would have used to describe Team Larison - until Sunday, that is.
O, how the mighty have fallen. Thank you, Ja'Marrio Party, for bringing a little parity back. We strive for this league to be as close as possible to the NFL experience, except, of course, for the whole minimizing concussions thing. That's bad. Bad, NFL, bad.
As I mentioned, we have Ja'Marrio Party to thank for being the first to topple the Larison Dynasty, and it wasn't particularly close, either. With six players failing to break the 10-point barrier, the wheels fell off finally came off for Team Larison. (106.0 - 70.0)
The Bussy Boiz joined Team Larison as the only 5 - 1 teams in the league. It was a comfortable win for the Boiz, as they cruised past the Streamers. By the way, props to the Streamers manager for correctly assessing that Jeff Wilson was going to be a non-factor and going with Eno Benjamin of the Arizona Cardinals. Negative props for leaving Marcus Mariota on the bench though. Ouch! (111.5 - 95.5)
Kyler Murray's Study Guide continued to roll as they secured their fourth straight victory by dispatching Team Idk, who's still suffering from identity crisis. It was another lopsided result in a weekend full of them. I guess Josh Allen can't carry a fantasy football team by himself, either. (109.5 - 77.5)
Maybe a name change is all Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur needed. After getting just one 20+ point performance out of Joe Burrow prior to Sunday, Mr. Sheisty went off for 32.0, and Mr. Melon needed every one of those points to stave off the Team That Shall Not Be Named. Ballsy call to sit Najee Harris, Melon Ball, but it worked out for ya. (91.5 - 88.0)
Another name change, another mid-season turnaround? Uncle Cooper, the team formerly known as Team Urbanik, certainly thinks so. The odds didn't look favorable going into the weekend, especially with Team Hood featuring all-World running back Nick Chubb and NFL media darling Justin Herbert. It wasn't a pretty win for Uncle Cooper, but it's a win, nonetheless. Welcome to the ranks of the non-winless! (81.0 - 76.5)
Lastly, we have another member joining the ranks of the non-winless! Welcome, Spider Under My Bed! Congratulations, take a bow! Now you just need Ja'Marr Chase to play in New Orleans every week. Is that possible? Can we get in touch with the NFL? Uncle Waldo Rodgers drops his second straight to fall to 2 - 4. Has anyone seen Aaron Rodgers? Anyone? Bueller? (111.5 - 77.5)
Week 6 is over and we're officially more than a third of the way through the NFL season, and nearly halfway through our fantasy season. Hard to believe, isn't it? Thanks again, everyone for all of your support, and for being a part of the league this year. Good luck next week!!!
It's going to be tough for any week to be more exciting (at least in Fantasy Football) than Week 5. Nearly every matchup came down to the wire, and one game was decided by half a point! Somehow, some way, Team Larison still remains unbeaten, and I owe somebody ten dollars...
In the most explosive matchup of the weekend, the Team That Shall Not Be Named eclipsed the Cleveland Streamers. It was an epic performance by both squads, as each manager pushed all the right buttons and had their boys in top form. Sadly, there are no moral victories in fantasy football... (162.0 - 145.0)
Team Idk improved to 4 - 1 at the expense of the Spiders. And speaking of the Spiders, can this guy get a 10-point performance from a QB once this season? Between Dak Prescott, Carson Wentz and Teddy Bridgewater, I'd say that's the sorriest group of QBs in fantasy history. (85.5 - 61.5)
Ja'Marrio Party escaped with a win over Team Hood thanks to a last minute 30-burger from TE Travis Kelce on Monday Night Football. What a lucky break - four touchdowns on seven receptions!?! But hey, that's fantasy for you. (96.5 - 89.5)
The Study Guides continued to roll as they secured their third straight victory in a tight one versus Uncle Waldo, who also made a furious Monday Night comeback thanks to 25.5 points from WR 1 Davante Adams. The Study Guides move to 3 - 2 on the season after an 0 - 2 start, while Uncle Waldo slips to 2 - 3. (105.5 - 97.0)
The Bussy Boiz rebounded from their first loss of the season to send the newly-minted Mr. Boston Melon Liqueur crashing to 1 - 4 on the season. Tight ends continue to be a black hole in just about everyone's lineup - both TEs in this matchup combined for ZERO! (124.5 - 102.0)
Last, but not least, Team Larison continued to defy the Fantasy Football gods and remains undefeated after squeaking past Team Urbanik. All he needed was for Pat Mahomes to throw for eight more yards. Eight. More. Yards. Or, you know, the combination of Caleb Huntley, Christian Kirk and Elijah Moore to get more than six points total. Either, or. (100.0 - 99.5)
Congratulations again to Team Larison. We may not be able to comprehend it, but you're 'perfect, and that's all that matters.
Good luck next week, guys!
Four weeks have passed since we began this journey. We were all bright-eyed and eager, but the ravages of Fantasy Football are beginning to take their toll. It looks like two teams may be close to kicking the bucket already, yet there also remains a lone undefeated champion who mocks us with his unblemished record. Can anyone topple Team Larison?
...But really, come on guys. He's starting Khalil Herbert, Josh Reynolds and Travis Etienne Jr. right now - we can't keep letting him get away with this. I've got a good feeling about you Team Urbanik! I've got ten bucks on Urbanik over Larison, who wants some of this action?
Back to the action from the weekend:
Uncle Waldo ended his two-game losing streak, sending Team Urbanik to 0 - 4 on the season, certainly not what we expected from a team headlined by QB Patrick Mahomes and Christian McCaffrey. To make matters worse, Team Urbanik lost RB 2 Javonte Williams to a season-ending injury. Is it too late to change that bet? (96.0 - 82.0)
It took all the way until Monday night, but Team Idk was finally able to sneak past The Team That Shall Not Be Named with a big game from WR 1 Deebo Samuel and three field goals from K Matt Gay. With RB Josh Jacobs's 31.5 points on the bench, my guess is the Team That Shall Not Be Named is a little peeved at the moment. (102.0 - 97.5)
The Cleveland Streamers erupted for their second win of the season, leaving Ja'arrio Party is a smoldering ruin. Things won't get any easier for Ja'Marrio Party, as RB 1 Jonathan Taylor has already been ruled out of Thursday night's game - better check that lineup!! (151.0 - 112.0)
The Spiders continue to spin themselves in circles, falling to 0 - 4 as Team Hood rolled easily behind another impressive performance from RB 1 Nick Chubb. I'm sure Team Hood has more than a half-"Chubb" for their top pick at this point. (99.0 - 68.5)
Tanked Engine got his best game from QB 1 Joe Burrow yet, but it still wasn't enough to overcome the Study Guides, who made it back to .500 after a pitiful 0 - 2 start. Looks like that RB-depth is starting to come in handy...anyone got any good trade offers? (90.5 - 87.5)
Finally, in the Battle of the Unbeatens, Team Larison toppled the Bussy Bois behind a massive 35.0-point game from TE T.J. Hockenson. Who saw that coming? Seriously, who the hell would have thought that this awkward guy --->
would turn out to be a straight killer? Not me, that's for sure. (132.0 - 71.0)
Congrats on the 4 - 0 start, Team Larison. But it's a long season y'all. Just like in the NFL right now, it feels like anybody could be beat at any time...*cough**cough* Team Urbanik.
The team that shall not be named says if Bengals can’t beat the dolphins tonight, it’s a wrap
Week 3 is officially in the books! There were a lot of low scores, and it looks like a couple teams may have mailed it in (looking at you Tanked Engine and Spiders). Let's all try a little harder this week, okay? Okay.
Kyler Murray must have put in his contractually-obligated four hours of study because the Study Guides finally broke through at the expense of Team Urbanik, which fell to 0 - 3 on the year (89.5 - 87.5).
Team Larison continued to defy the Fantasy Gods, as he started an injured Keenan Allen yet somehow still managed to defeat a Tanked Engine squad that went completely off the rails in Week 3 (73.5 - 63.5).
The Bussy Boiz continued to roll behind Jalen Hurts, crushing the 2021 Champions Uncle Waldo Rodgers. Uncle Waldo got a decent performance from A-Rod, but Hayden Hurst with 0.5? So much for that waiver-wire addition... (121.5 - 89.0).
Ja'Marrio Party picked up their second win of the season, capitalizing on a monster performance from Lamar Jackson. Looks like betting Lamar in a contract year was a smart idea - who would have guessed? The Team That Shall Not Be Named, meanwhile, suffered their first loss of the season. Probably shouldn't have started Darrell Henderson, Jr., huh? (121.0 - 112.5)
Team Hood gave Team Idk its first loss of the year, riding a huge game from Devonta Smith. Team Idk saw it's running-back room self-destruct, which could have lasting ramifications. Is there a trade brewing on the horizon? (122.0 - 82.5)
Finally, the Steamers secured their first elusive victory, although it wasn't an inspiring performance to say the least. By the way, what the heck has happened to Justin Jefferson? Is he hurt? Asleep? Are we being Punk'd? As for the Spiders, things look bleak. All I can say is, at least you remembered to set your lineup - right, Team Larison? (75.5 - 66.5)
Good luck next week everyone!
Week 2 has arrived, and already we're seeing some teams separating themselves from the pack.
Team Idk may not even know their own name, but they sure saw the Josh Allen explosion coming. They moved to 2 - 0, dropping a spunky Steamers squad that has traded huge WR performances to start the year, but hasn't secured that elusive W.
The Team That Shall Not Be Named also looked strong, moving to 2 - 0 over Team Hood who wasted a great performance from RB1 Nick Chubb - though, to be fair, Chubb shouldn't have scored that last TD, because then the Browns might have actually won...classic Brownies.
The Spiders continued to hide as Ja'Marrio Party celebrated QB Lamar Jackson dancing his way to 41.0 points. The Arachnids did lose QB Trey Lance for the season, though if that's really a downgrade or an upgrade is still TBD...
Thomas the Tanked Engine rode WR1 Stefon Diggs to a massive 38.0 points game, getting back to .500 at the expense of Team Urbanik, which fell to 0 - 2. Too bad Tua and his 38.0 points didn't get the start over Patrick Mahomes and his 17.0, because that 21.0-point swing would have tied this game!
In the first brother vs. brother, Civil-War-matchup of the season, Team Larison struck down the elder brother Waldo. It was a sloppy affair, with Team Larison being bailed out yet again by a Buccaneers defense that seems out for blood in 2022.
Finally, the Bussy Boiz and QB1 Jalen Hurts mercifully put down the Study Guide's, who seem close to collapsing inward on themselves like a dying star, only instead of getting the chance to shine brightly like an actual star, they imploded into nothingness because that's all they ever were...
Good luck next week y'all!
Bounced back, thanks to Max starting Kamara. The run starts here.
Sully has the best team in the league and still lost by 20 points